Happiness isn't always about what you do. Happiness is often about what
you don't do -- especially if it involves these nine things.
By Jeff Hadden
If you're less
than happy with your life -- either personally or professionally -- the problem isn't education, upbringing , a lack of opportunities, being held
back by other people, or even bad luck.
If you're
unhappy, the problem is you. While approximately 50 percent of your happiness is determined by personality traits that are largely hereditary the other 50 percent is determined by factors totally within your control: your health, your career, your relationships, and your
interests and pursuits.
If you're
unhappy, you have the power to change that. Since the best addition often comes
from subtraction, start by deciding to do these things:
1. Never
equate acquisition with satisfaction.
Psychologists
call it hedonistic adaptation, the phenomenon of people's automatically
shifting the joy of a new purchase back toward their emotional norm.
Or, in
non-science speak, it's why that "aaah" feeling you get when you look
at your new house, new car, new furniture, or new clothes quickly goes away.
The only way
to recapture that "aaah" feeling is to buy something else, an
addictive cycle that never leads to long-term satisfaction. Why? That's not how
we're made.
Real, lasting
satisfaction comes from doing, not from having. Want to feel good
about yourself? Help someone.
Knowing you've
made a difference in another person's life is an "aaah" that lasts
forever.
It's a cycle
that is also addictive -- but this time, in a good way.
2. Never
mistake political gain for achievement.
Infighting,
positioning, trying to look better by making other people look worse--playing
politics can help get you ahead.
But if you win
by politics, you ultimately lose, because political success is based on the
impulses, whims, and caprices of other people -- other people you don't even
like. That means today's success can be tomorrow's failure, and success or
failure is largely outside your control.
Real
achievements are based on merit. They can't be taken away -- by anyone.
Real success
is truly satisfying.
3. Never let
the fear of disapproval or criticism hold you back.
Try something
different. Try something others won't try. Almost immediately, people will talk
about you -- and not in a nice way.
The only way
to keep people from being snide, disparaging, or judgmental is to say and do
what everyone else does. Then, of course, you live their lives and not yours.
And you won't be happy.
See the fact
that people are talking about you as a sign you're on the right track -- yourtrack.
Your track is
the happy track. Not theirs.
4. Never
forget to be last.
Everyone likes
to be first. But often it's better to be last: the last to give up, the last to
leave, the last to keep trying, the last to hold on to principles and values.
The world is full
of people who quit. The world is full of people who pivot -- even though pivot
is sometimes just a fancy word for "give up."
There will
always be people who are smarter, more talented, better connected, and better
funded. But they don't always win.
Be the last to
give up on yourself; then, even if you don't succeed, you still win.
5. Never wait
for that big idea.
You won't hit
the big-idea lottery. So stop trying.
Besides, even
if you do come up with that elusive big idea, could you pull off the
implementation? Do you have the skills, experience, and funding?
Don't feel
bad. I don't either.
But here's
what you do have: Plenty of small ideas. You don't need to
look for a big idea if you act on your little ideas.
Happiness is a
process, and processes are based on action.
6. Never be
afraid to ship.
We're
naturally afraid to be "done," because then our idea, our product, or
our service has to sink or swim -- and we're afraid it will sink.
Maybe it will
sink -- but if you don't put it out there, it can also never swim. As Seth
Godin says, you have to ship. No product can be successful until it's shipped.
No application can be successful until it's released. No service can be
successful until it's in the field.
When in doubt,
ship it out. Then make whatever you produce next a little better. And
ship that. And keep going.
You can't feel
proud until you ship. So ship -- a lot.
7. Never see
your resume as a goal.
Many people try
to collect jobs and experiences in pursuit of crafting a "winning"
CV. But that's backward. Your CV is like a report card. It's just a by-product
of what you've accomplished, learned, and experienced.
Don't base
your life on trying to fill in the blanks on some "ideal" resume.
Base your life on accomplishing your goals and dreams. Figure out what you need
to do to get to where you want to be, and do those things.
Then let your
resume reflect that journey.
8. Never wait.
For the right
time. The right people. The right market. The right something.
Wait, and life
passes you by.
The only right
is right now.
Go.
9. Never think
you aren't happy.
Close your
eyes.
Imagine I have
the power to take everything you hold dear away from you: Family, job or
business, home -- everything.
And imagine I
exercise that power. All of it, everything, is gone.
Would you beg
and plead and offer me anything to get that life back? Would getting that life
back mean everything to you? Would you realize that what you had is so much
more important than what you didn't have?
Would you
realize that what I just took away was pretty freaking awesome?
Of course you
would.
Copyright:
www.inc.com/jeff-haden
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